Late Wake Up Call, Parking Space Meltdown and A Pageantry of Beauty & “SMARTS”…
It was 9:30 am when woke up, and that’s way too late for my Lola’s waking up standard. So I went straight to the bathroom to take a piss, go downstairs, eat breakfast, drink my coffee (with cinnamon, yumm-o). Then go upstairs, watch the replay of Project Runway, heat water for my mom’s showering encounter, buy 7 diapers for her. When I was buying the dye-pees, the people on the store was so moronicly-kind of specimen. Every time I go there, I had to say “7 Adult XL’s please” over and over again. If these happen again, I’ll curl and straight their hair over and over again till their hair looks like a kinky pubic hair. (Those moronic specimens) I went to Lucena to buy some medicine for my vegetable-ish mom and some ingredients for the cake that I’ll bake for tomorrow. In the van (going to Pacific Mall) I was seated at the back, then I suddenly smelled an icky smell of human armpit, it’s not me, I just taken a shower, maybe it the 3 bitch-bunch in front of me or those awfully-not-so-fab-kids sitting near me, I don’t know.
I’m at the mall, I head over to the grocery to pick up things for my cake, buy medicine for little-miss-veggie. I also asked how much Lamisil is (for my morbid case of athletes foot). Then I went to Delgic (my fave pirated goodies store) and to my surprise, it’s closed for some renovation. I’m so sad, that I can’t buy another illegally-made-piece-of-entertainment-for-my-own-use. I head over to this other pirated store, and to my shocked self, I witnessed parking space meltdown of the moment from this nearly-matronic-smoking-lady. She’s demanding for the parking space, which I may point that said space was intended for the customers of the pawnshop near the pirated store. She’s a hit to the by standers, walking on the sidewalks and people inside the store. I was so happy for her, that she can cause a major meltdown over a parking space in public, I wish I can do that to, I haven’t had a bitch fit for a long time. Nearly forgotten to buy the most important ingredient of a cake, the flour. Gotten on a jeep for SM. At the entrance, Miss Teen Philippines is happening now. It made me happy, I finally got to unleash my tactless mouth, commenting on those girls, being wannabe models, not-so-good English skills, boring-to-death-talent-presentations, things that I like to do when watching a collection of female species trying to win a crown.
But before that, I went to the groceries again to buy some more stuff for me. The pageant was in third floor so I dragged my fat behind there. I waited and waited for it to start, I wanted to scream and shout “start the fuckin’ pageant already, I don’t have all day”. So it started (finally), they dance to Pussycat Dolls song “Beep”, they sashayed down the not-so-long runway. It was somewhat boring, some of them cant do a runway walk, (they need Miss J. Alexander, runway trainor- extraordinaire from ANTM). The host are also awful, they are speaking in English, when the whole audience is Filipino, how clueless can you get, and when they interview the poor 4th Runner Up from last years pageant, I just wanna leave right now and I left. I have to eat cause I didn’t had lunch and Im freakin starving (anorexicly starving). To my benefit, KFC is there to rescue me from my hunger and order the Chicken Steak Combo with large drinks and mash potato. Great, Im full now, being a glutton-ish-fat-ass myself, I had to have Cookies and Cream from Zagu (my fave flavor) and went again upstairs to see more female specimens wow us with their quick wit and charm. It was disappointing when this first girl didn’t answer her question correctly, felt sorry for that clueless-in-english contestant, to make it more disappointing the girls are wearing these what-the-fuck-are-you-thinking-when-you-wore-that-dress-you-look-like-an-alien-with-your-veins-out-there-exposed dress. So that’s it I don’t want to see another monstrosity-stupidity-kind-of-pageant, I left the mall. Inside the van (going home), I was so uncomfortable cause there’s not enough leg room, and my legs need room. Finally, when I was going out of the van (I’m two blocks away from home), this I-can’t-see-your-face-bitch slam the door when I’m still inside. Made me so mad, I’ll pluck all of that bitch’s body and put it all in her face.
What A day, no so exciting than yesterday. I’m here writing this entry for you read. Till next time…..
Auf Wiedersehen….
